narrowboatworld

I HAVE been living on the Cut for over seven years now and regard it as my home. When I told friends and relatives I was going to retire early, sell up and live aboard a narrowboat, many regarded me as crazy and were all for sending for 'The Men in White Coats'.

Now I think the situation is reversed. Life on the Cut is where sanity (normally) prevails and life ashore in the 'Real World' is going crazy. In the last week I have come across two incidents where the so called 'Real World' and the Cut have intersected. I think the events described below add credence to my argument.

Crazy World #1

I arrived at the powered swing bridge at Oakgrove on the Macc to find it out of action. Apparently a motorist had destroyed one of the barriers which was propped up on the verge.

According to locals in the Fools Nook pub opposite, this is a frequent occurrence. Motorists see the lights on the barriers start to flash and then attempt to drive under the falling barriers! This is to save waiting the five minutes or so it takes for a boat to pass through and the bridge swing back. Not all succeed! Crazy or what?

If I were BW I'd install a couple of cameras triggered by the falling barriers to ensure I got the registration numbers of the vehicles involved. It must be costing BW a small fortune to replace these barriers on a regular basis.

Crazy World #2

I recently took my boat down through Stoke Top Lock and moored in the pound below so I could close the gates and set the following lock. As I approached lock 39 I was hit from behind by a cyclist. The fact I was well padded with an anorak and a fleece, together with the 'natural padding' I always carry with me meant the cyclist merely bounced off and I was not injured. (Being a 'fat bastard' with a low centre of gravity has it advantages!) Someone with the stature of our Pam, would not have got off so slightly I suspect.

The cyclist said he had done his 'two tings' so I assume it was my fault then? The fact that the noise of the wind in the trees nearby and a locks worth of water cascading over the adjacent spill was enough to drown his bell was not an issue of course.

The point is BW have converted the towpath in this area into an urban highway for 'Kamikaze Commuters' on mountain bikes. It appears 'two tings' of a puny bell means the rider will not be applying the brakes and the onus is on the person obstructing 'their' highway to get out of the way!

It's a good job those rules don't apply on the road. Can you imagine a post accident conversation with a policeman?

"Well officer, I saw the pedestrian, hooted, he didn't get out of the way, so I ran him over!"

Ex-Towpath Observations

Whilst I worked my way down the rest of the Stoke Flight I kept an eye out on what was going on on what used to be the towpath. It was interesting to note that the majority of pedestrians were using the route as a way to work (it was now around 8am), or were walking a dog.

However, a large proportion of these walkers wore earphones or headphones presumably listening to a radio or MP3 player. Would these people hear an approaching bike? No chance. I doubt local dog walkers have trained their dogs to recognise 'two tings' and get out of the way either!

BW Aware

BW must have had complaints, and be aware of the dangers it has created because it has responded in the only way it knows how. BW has installed posts with warning notices at perceived danger points (the sites of previous collisions?) along the section between the Incinerator in the South and Festival Park in the North. The photos show a small selection of these posts

What has the placing of these expensive posts achieved, I ask? Do cyclists dismount at lock ramps and bridges? Do they slow down at blind bends, bridge holes or pedestrian access points? From my observations the posts are just an expensive way of BW covering itself from a Health & Safety standpoint.

In reality they achieve absolutely nothing! The problem still remains. This metallised surface next to the canal is not a safe place to be on foot. Fact.

Health & Safety BW style

Whilst working my way down the Stoke Flight I did an ad-hoc Health & Safety survey, but from a boaters perspective not BW's. Here is a summary:

Lock 39

Here the lock is immediately followed by a wide (low) railway bridge. Just imagine walking under the bridge with a train going overhead, or boater dumping the water from the lock. Would you hear a cyclist approaching, 'two tings' or not? Even if it was quiet, and you did, where would you go? Yet there are those in Ivory Towers actively promoting cycleways with more situations like this! Crazy.

Also worthy of note is the (safety?) rail is continuous so boaters are denied access to/from the steps leading to the lock side. Nice!

I assume the barrier just above the lock is there to either prevent motor-cycles using the ex-towpath or to slow bikes down. Either way it's useless as bikes just go around it!

Alongside the lock on the ex-towpath side is a set of steps that lead you directly from the lock side onto the ramp that cyclists speed down. For them it's an ideal place to convert Potential Energy into Kinetic Energy and pick up an extra 10mph for zero effort. For a crew person stepping out at the wrong moment it could be a trip to the local hospital.

There are very useful lock moorings below this lock on the offside. However, water seepage has seen the growth of slippery moss, lichen, vegetation over a large area making its use impractical. BW acknowledges this by placing the ubiquitous warning sign! What that sign says to me is this landing area is crap, we know it's crap, but we don't care. Only boaters use it!

For the time/cost of putting up the sign couldn't BW have removed the offending vegetation? If my memory serves me correctly, wasn't this the sort of thing lock keepers used to do? But of course we don't need them any more do we?

I hope the above illustrations will make people realise BW's attitude to Health & Safety is a joke. It's just a sop motivated by political correctness and jobsworth 'backside covering'. It has nothing to do with the real safety issues faced by boaters using canals on a daily basis.

As regards Health & Safety BW has failed in much the same way it has failed to maintain the canals. It's lost the plot. A direct result of those in charge losing touch with reality I would suggest.

Handcuff keys come to the Trent & Mersey

Due to persistent vandalism in the form of tampering with locks, draining pounds etc, BW has found it necessary to fit locks (opened with handcuff keys) to Stoke Top Lock (Etruria) and Trentham Lock. Fair play to BW on this issue. I don't see they had any other option. The vandalism at Trentham in particular has been going on for some time.

Harecastle Tunnel

I was fortunate to arrive at the Northern Portal of Harecastle Tunnel just as it opened at 8am. Much to my surprise there were no boats waiting. There were two waiting at the Southern Portal so they went first.

During the next 40 minutes I had a chat with the very pleasant and knowledgeable tunnel keeper. He informed me the numbers using the tunnel were below normal at around 40 boats a day, whereas he would have expected around 50 at this time of year. During the stoppage on the Shroppie last year they were sending something like 90 boats a day through helped by the extended opening hours, but even this was not enough to prevent queues forming all the way back to Red Bull!

I have to say I really enjoyed my trip through Harecastle. The thought of men legging a loaded working boat through it is unbelievable. Today, I had it all to myself; the Grey Nomad was the only boat heading  South at that time. How cool is that?

I would like to thank both the tunnel keepers, they were cheerful, knowledgeable and helpful. Who could ask for more?