That time of year

IT'S THAT time of year again. During the latter half of July the number (and speed) of boats going by steadily increases which means the holiday season is upon us. Many folk who spend all of the summer on the cut, take off and 'hide' at this time of year. This means avoiding popular cruising rings and trunk routes. 'Dead end' canals and branches are often a good bet, with the exception of the Llangollen of course!

I am in the fortunate position that I can visit the more crowded sections out of season or even during the winter, stoppages permitting. I don't see the point in queuing for locks and struggling to find moorings when there is no need. Besides if I 'hide' the Grey Nomad somewhere out of the way it leaves another mooring space free for the poor devils who life is blighted by that four lettered curse called work!

It's a grand life

I'M WRITING this whilst in 'hiding' on a relatively quiet stretch of canal. Outside it's hissing down. A hire boat has just gone by, with one poor soul stood at the tiller in the pouring rain whilst everyone else is (sensibly) under cover.

Seeing this reminds me how great it is to be retired and living on the cut. When the weather is foul I just stay put. Sitting in my rocking chair reading, whilst listening to the rain hammering on the roof, is pure bliss. I reckon the main reason some boaters whine on about continuous cruisers is because they envy the lifestyle. I know many that have tried living aboard and some were continuous cruisers too, but very few have lasted more than 18 months or so.

Many think that throwing money at the problems of living on board solves everything. Not so. The towpaths are still muddy in winter, the nearest water point may be miles away and of course the cut may be frozen in severe weather.

Having an expensive boat full of gizmo's does not alter the fundamentals If something goes wrong on an 'all singing all dancing' boat who do you get to fix it? Simplicity does have it's virtues. There is less to go wrong and maybe you can fix it yourself? Having backup equipment is of prime importance. If your alternator fails sitting in the dark (and maybe cold) on a winters night is no fun at all. This is where a small portable generator comes in. The same applies to heating. I have central heating and a solid fuel stove too.

People get the impression it's easy being a liveaboard because long term cruisers tend to be laid back folk and make it look so easy. Perhaps they give this impression because they have been doing it for years and are, beneath the surface, very well organised! It's a bit like watching a top sportsman in action. What he does looks easy, until you try it yourself that is. It really is a grand life, but be warned it's not as easy as it looks. My advice is to speak to someone who has tried it and gone 'back to bricks' before committing yourself.

Virtual reality

HAVING read the recent flurry of articles about the canal system in the daily papers, including the Times, it would seem statistical analysis, mathematical rigour, and even reality have been consigned to the dustbin. The source of much of this material appears to be British Waterways own PR department. Given the freedom that facts and the real world need not get in the way of a story, here is my reaction to British Waterways Annual Report.

In the year 2000 it was stated that 2 million people visited the canals every year. Now according to this year's annual report it is 3.3 million in a fortnight. Some increase! If, like me, you find it hard to imagine this is true let me explore the figures in PR style.

If 3.3 million turn up on the same day, this is a 1 in 14 chance remember, what would this number of people look like. To be honest I have no idea, so I imagined folk lined up on the towpath holding hands say 4ft apart.

(3,300,000 x 4) / (3 x 1760) = 2,500 miles

In other words the visitors could join hands and cover the towpaths of the entire system. Now I'm sure I would have noticed those sort of numbers when out on my travels!

The Annual Report also contains gem's like 'We did not find any fault in our inspection procedures'. with regard to the breach on the Monty. No surprise there then. From a pragmatists point of view British Waterways couldn't say anything else otherwise the insurance companies wouldn't pay up. From a cynics point of view, how can you find fault with something that, since the removal of lengthsmen, doesn't exist?

The reality

THAT'S the virtual reality stuff, here is the reality.

Despite a lack of funds to repair bridges like the one shown above, nine of British Waterways' executives have shared £310,454 in bonuses for not maintaining the system. This despite the EFRA committee re-affirming that maintenance of the existing navigation is the top priority. Thanks chaps.